Son's Laziness Mistaken of the Will of God
The will of God was once again misinterpreted. The perpetrator, Ana Lorena López Valverde, mother of 12-year-old, Josué “Chepe” Monge López, upon realizing that her son was not going to colegio, matter-of-factly stated “Dios no quiso...”
She added, “when it came to the boy’s education, I would always say ‘he’ll be going to colegio si Dios quiere.’ As you all know, that automatically puts it in the Lord’s hands.”
God, however, couldn’t disagree more. “This is a mistake my people often make,” explained the Almighty. “There are certain things over which I exercise complete control. Plane crashes, for instance, are events in which normally I alone have a hand. Barring a drunk pilot or a hijacking, I pretty much always determine the fate of air traffic. So, it makes perfect sense to say, ‘I will land safely in Paris si Dios quiere.’ Now, I don’t want to be bursting anyone’s bubble here, but Chepe’s situation is entirely different. I gave that kid all the opportunity in the world to continue his education. Books, Trapper Keeper, Spider-Man Thermos®, bus fare, lunch money…you name it. You could even say that Dios quería. So, I’m not going to be taking the fall for this one. It was él with the lower-case ‘e’ who didn’t quiso.”
López still refuses to blame her son for his own laziness, which still appears to be the work of God. Chepe is still content with his mother’s misplaced indifference and the daunting task of passing the bicho at the end of World 8, Level 4 of Super Mario Bros. God, on the other hand, is having a hard time coping with the situation and is wavering between misericordia and all-out plague and famine.